the closet psychologist style reset checklist
Refine your wardrobe: Reconnect with yourself
A style reset isn’t about chasing trends, reinventing your image, or throwing everything out. Most women have too much stuff, most of which they hardly wear. This checklist can help to give you prompts, and encourage you to simplify what you have so you get better value from your possessions.
1. Pause and reflect before you edit
Set aside a few minutes when you have time, are not stressed, and are in a positive frame of mind. We all know that decisions made when you are under pressure, either through time constraints or emotional turmoil, may not be the best you have ever made. So before you start to curate or to clear, take a few minutes to write a few quick notes. Ask yourself:
Do I love the way I have been dressing recently?
Who am I dressing for?
Who am I becoming?
Do my clothes reflect my lifestyle and my body, or a life that I no longer lead?
Just jot down some quick answers. You can return to these comments as you are looking through your wardrobe. They will keep you motivated, and can be a great point of reference when you find yourself unsure about styling an outfit, or whether to keep an item. Consider making a vision board to give you ideas about the way other people are wearing clothes and the colours and styles that you might be drawn to.
Do you have a friend, or is there someone you see in the media whose style appeals to you? This edit can help you find what you have in your collection that you could start to wear differently. Time taken asking yourself these simple questions can save you from overwhelm and uncertainty as you face your wardrobe.
Now take a breath and open the doors and see what treasures you can rediscover.
2. Identify what you love, and what is working well
Can you find 5 examples of items you love? Perhaps your favourite pair of jeans, a skirt, jumper, heels, boots etc. and put them on the bed, or somewhere flat so that you can see what you have.
Can you find any patterns in your choices:
Are you drawn to a particular colour palette?
Is there a silhouette that you are favouring?
Does the feel and texture of the fabrics influence your choices?
Can you describe how you feel about these special items? What words do they inspire? Some that might come to mind could be: confidence, elegance, rebel, nostalgia, dynamic, relaxed, easy, comfortable, taller, slimmer…
These emotions are your clues for the choices that will serve your creativity well, now and into the future.
3. Embrace your reality, and the needs you have now
Now can you find 5 things within your collection that you never wear? Can you identify why these items don’t work for you? Take this opportunity to remove things that are damaged beyond repair: the things you take out and put back without taking any positive action. Now look at the items you have chosen with a neutral, but critical eye.
Ask yourself:
Would I buy this again? Use the question to think about whether you would buy this item in the condition that it is now, rather than whether you would buy a new replacement version.
Am I keeping this because I haven’t got round to clearing it out, or because of guilt, or maybe a misplaced expectation that it will miraculously become a staple in some uncharted future world?
Perhaps you are keeping something because of the memories it invokes? Consider whether it would be ok if you take a photo as a reminder, but recycle or sell the item. If this seems too harsh, can you find somewhere to keep these special things away from your everyday clothes. Pack them well, and know they are safe while creating some space.
Does this item belong to a past version of me? This can be related to lifestyle, career, body changes, or simply because your tastes have changed.
Can you identify any less-than-positive design aspects that can be used to find similar items that you could gently retire from your collection? Letting go of things that no longer spark affection, or work for your future image is not a waste. It means that you are honouring your creativity, while making space for who you are now, and who you are becoming. Remember that although something may not work for you, it could be ideal for someone else. Allow yourself to move on.
4. Reconnect with your life now
What is the rhythm of your life now? How has it changed recently? How have I changed? What inspires me? Very often life events (both big and small) occur that can alter the needs and ideas we may have harboured about who we are, and the image we want to portray.
To reconnect with your life as it is now, some quick prompts might be useful:
How do I spend most of my life now? How often do I dress up or spend on a beach?
In an ideal world what would I love to wear? How can I start to introduce this styling?
If I am working, do I need to be very smart any more, or is business casual more appropriate?
Do I have clothes that I love to cover all these situations?
How can I wear my things differently to get more value from them? Think about mixing genres.
Are there any gaps in my wardrobe for the reality of my life…not for a known past, or an imagined future one?
Becoming clear about your answers is when your sweet spot appears. You can simplify your wardrobe and start to curate and refine your choices. Your wardrobe will be constantly evolving, but having a plan is a great place to start.
5. The Closet Psychology Style Archetype Reflection
I am still working on this concept so there will be much more information to come. However, as a quick insight, do you recognise yourself in these following descriptions? You may immediately identify with one description, or think that you share elements of a couple of these archetypes.
My aim is for you as an individual to embody that personal, and unique creativity we all possess, but have often forgotten about. The archetypes are designed as an additional tool to help you to start to think differently about the clothes you have, and the image you want to portray.
So, which archetype feels most like you?
The Collector
Are you creative, eclectic, and emotionally attached to the clothes in your wardrobe?
You may live in the memory of a past period in your life that is shown by overflowing rails, and a ‘just in case’ attitude. A classic example of the ‘lots of clothes but nothing to wear’ dilemma.
You express your sensitivity and soul in your choices, but working on gentle curation will create a more present collection.
The Curator
Is your wardrobe functional, organised and practical, but has somehow lost some creativity and spark?
Do you gravitate towards neutral tones and classic shapes, and rarely experiment with anything that could even vaguely be considered as frivolous. Do you wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time?
You definitely have taste and refinement, but could be encouraged to introduce some more individuality and creativity.
The Chameleon
While you have an expressive style on the surface, there is often no grounding intention, just many reactive choices.
If your wardrobe has styles from Boho to serious tailoring, often barely worn, then this is you. You may declutter and restock often, but never find your personal niche, however much you try to find the answers.
As you are willing to experiment, once you start to embody and embed your personal style, the rest will be easy.
6. Choose one detail
Even if you had the time, or the money, to make sweeping changes to your image, would you really want to? Habits take a while to stick, so introducing one new concept into your personal presentation every week will keep things light and fun, and stand a much greater chance of it sticking. See if any of these ideas appeal to you, and I’m sure you can think of a few more that could easily make their way off your wish list into your reality.
Get your hairdresser to show you how to achieve a more professional blow-dry at home, or experiment with some different styling products and techniques yourself
Clean your jewellery. Use gentle soaps and propriety cleaners and be prepared to be dazzled.
Reduce your ironing pile, and resolve to press or steam things as soon as you have washed them so that you always have the full choice of your clothes available at all times.
Sort your sock drawer and your underwear. Baggy, saggy, and dull underwear does nothing for your figure or your self esteem. Just sort it! And do the same with socks and tights that have lost their pair, or their elastic…or have images of Santa on them…just saying!
Experiment and find your signature fragrance. Do you wear any perfume (either directly, or as a result of body lotion etc)? If not, then why not make this addition something nice that you could do just for yourself. If you have worn the same scent for years, consider making a change and see how you feel.
None of these ideas are life defining, but thinking about yourself in a positive way, and creating some small rituals just for you, can create big shifts in your personal style journey.
7. If you identify a gap, buy one thing, but buy it slowly
Hopefully you will have read enough in the media and on my website to think twice before impulse buying. If you find a gap in your collection, here are some questions that you might ask yourself before reaching for the credit card to make a purchase you may later regret.
As well as identifying what you are missing, can you describe it? This could be brown leather boots, a truly waterproof coat, dangling gold ear rings or a bright silky blouse…you get the idea.
Now can you think about the feeling that having this thing would bring you? Will this choice make you feel more confident, more aligned with your style aesthetic, finally keep you dry on your way to work, or are you just pleased to have something new? Is your choice based on practicality or desire? Think waterproofs or gold jewellery?
Now give yourself a week to really research your options. Whether that means a shopping trip, or taking some time exploring the internet, you know what you want, so make sure you find your ideal item. Having, and executing, this plan will mean that you won’t make too many concessions, and end up with something ‘that will do’.
This is the basis of thoughtful curation, not random thoughtless consumption.
A final reflection
Clothes are not just fabric and stitches. They hold memories, they have meaning, and they are a mirror into how you are feeling, and the circumstances of your life in the round.
Every now and then, you owe it to yourself to take a moment and pause. We all live busy lives, and often the clothes we wear become very predictable. We wear things on repeat because we don’t have the time, and often the inclination, to think about how our decisions might effect how we feel.
Perhaps your style reset will be as a result of a life circumstance, or a change of season. It may be that you love everything you have, in which case, re-familiarising yourself with you collection serves to bring hidden things forward in your mind. If you are less enamoured by the things you find, you can start to make changes from a position of creative knowledge, rather than being overwhelmed and adopting a scattergun panic declutter mode.
Taking time for yourself is not a selfish act. When you feel good about yourself, your interactions with others are often more positive. It may be that your new approach to your image and your clothes will encourage your friends and family to put themselves further up their to-do list.
What’s next?
If you want support as you refine your collection please contact me: milly@millychurchill.co.uk
Join the waitlist for my upcoming Style Reset Workshop, or to book a 1:1 Archetype Consultation milly@millychurchill.co.uk
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Because sometimes, a wardrobe update is really a life update in disguise
All rights reserved. Milly Churchill asserts the right to be identified as the author of this work.